Just Rambling

Well, I did say that I would update once a week – I never promised that it would be anything of substance.  This week has been full of personal trials  – sometimes I think Satan sees that I am struggling with one issue (homesickness) and decides it would be a great time to add in quite a few other issues.  I have found myself saying out loud this week, “okay, okay, that’s enough I cant handle anymore!”  Things seemed to have calmed down – after a great day at church (surprise surprise).
I am spending a lot of time trying to catch up with my studies.  I am taking a University course called:  The Arts Past and Present.  It is interesting but after writing a 600 word essay about Faraday the famous English scientist I am left wondering what on earth it has to do with the Arts and trying just to make it through this class so I can get on to the better ones!
Chris and I have been following a lifestyle plan my dad set up for us.  After a week I lost one itty bitty pound and Chris lost 3!??!?!  Where is the justice in that??
Have you looked at my new blog yet?  Today I was supposed to take a picture at 7 pm – I was in the car in the minutes leading up to it and had one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the camera.  Things got really tricky when I accidentally turned the camera on to video and spend 20 seconds driving and trying to figure out how to change it, all the while trying not to miss my 7:00 deadline!  Don’t worry, I made it (and so did all the others on the road).  http://uktotheusa.blogspot.com/
Well I guess I should stop rambling and get back to my school work – I will leave you with some pictures – random of course, just like the blog!

Home is never far from my mind (even in the toilets) CHS – Go Pirates!!!

In the church newsletter – notice one of their activities: viewing the world cup while enjoying a cash bar.  Nothing like good old fashion religion!

For a friends child, Chris and I took Flat Stanley out to see the country.  We made sure he was safe, buckling him in, but then when we turn our heads for one minute he gets himself caught in the CD player!


Every time I drive past this sign I have a bit of a giggle.
Have a good week everyone!!!

Here I Am…

Hello Readers.  I am still alive (thank goodness).  As you may or may not know, I am recovering (slowly) from surgery.  As much as I am healing physically, I am also trying to heal emotionally, as the surgery didn't go how we thought it would.  I will update more when I feel better (or when I can sit on a chair for long enough to type a post).  Please watch the video below – it puts into words how I feel and what I am dealing with.
Be back soon!

P.S. I couldn't be more blessed from the outpouring of support from my friends and family (mostly thousands of miles away).  And, just so you know, I have never been offended by anything any of these sweet people have said to me.

Tender Mercies

I wont lie… this week has been rough.  After living here in England for nearly 4 years you’d think that I would have my homesickness conquered – but I don't… far from it.  When things are going “well” it is a lot easier to cope, but when things pile up (like they have this last week) it is almost more than I can handle at times.
Today, after an especially hard day, I decided that I needed to get out of the house.  I needed to exercise (instead of emotionally eat).  I went out with two objectives – find the signs of spring by doing something that I love (taking pictures) and also taking some deep breaths, “feeling”, and trying to find ways to improve my mood and my outlook on things. I guess that is more than two… anyway…
The second I walked out the door it started to rain (surprise, surprise – note sarcasm), but I had finally found the motivation and keep walking.  Breathing in the nice, fresh air and taking a lot of time to just… STOP and take in the view.
I am a very firm believer in God’s “Tender Mercies”.  I try my hardest when I am feeling down to find them in every day life. I find that it just re-affirms my belief in God looking out for me even though life is so hard sometimes.  Today didn't fail to disappoint (when looking for tender mercies – it never will).  I found a lot of signs of spring and even found beauty in the day.

“We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord's tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance”  Elder David A. Bednar "The Tender Mercies of the Lord."

Below are some of the pictures I took… maybe, you can find a “Tender Mercy” for yourself in one of them.  Enjoy!

“Pretty in Pink”                

One of my “Tender Mercies”    

Another “Tender Mercy”   

I’m Baaaacccckkk…..

Well last time I saw this blog I was on day 23 of Tiny Moments, it is now a new month and I missed out on the last few pictures.  Sorry…. 
Things here have been a little off here at the house.  Chris and I both got ill for about a week and a half and thought we had the Swine Flu.  I don't think we actually did because we never got full blown temps.  We had a fertility appointment that took away my attention from the blog – but I’m back now!
Chris and I did get a chance to go to the seaside with Georgia on Friday.  We wanted to make a whole day of it and started at the Sea Life Centre which is like a ghetto version of Sea World.

Georgia wasn't too impressed by the whole thing, and to tell the truth – we weren't either.  I did touch a star fish for the first time – strange.
We decided to head out to the beach.  It was a lovely day but we were bombarded by wasps.  We finally got a bucket and spade and a mat and headed to the water.  The beach at Huntstation is a lot more “pebbly” than some of the others we’ve been too but we tried to make the best of it.  We spent some time in the sea, which was freezing, and Georgia only relaxed and started to enjoy the water once Chris was in the water with her.  The tide started to come in quite quick so we decided it was time to have some lunch.

We had a nice lunch of fish and chips and then we went to the arcades.  This is one of Chris’ favourite things to do – to play on the 2p machines.  He took it upon himself so share the fun with Georgia – which she loved!  She especially loved when she won something, but didn't seem to understand why we were putting the 2p’s in the machine instead of putting them in our wallets.

Georgia decided to take a ride on Brum “to America” she told us.

By this point I think Georgia was a little tired, and so were we.  We decided to head home.

We thought she was tired and would fall asleep on the way home but she didn't and kept us entertained saying things out of the blue like, “ *GASP* Look at that?!?!?!?!?” Chris says look at what?  “That, the… SKY!” or my personal favourite, “Jamie, I love you….. Jamie I love your bum!”
We love spending time with her!
Last night to end a very, very hard day I got to see this out of the window:

It was beautiful and maybe with the great day with Georgia and the lovely sunset it is a sign that this week will be better than the last few.  Fingers Crossed.

'Tis the Season... and all that Jazz

It has been way too long since I have written, I have had quite a bit to say but tend not to write when I am feeling homesick or depressed because if I did that my blog would be quite boring and would end up being a "pity party" and no one wants to read that -- do they?
It has been a very long hard month (November) here in the Flattley household.  It first started with some family problems that, at the time. was soul destroying and all consuming.  Luckily, problems have been hashed out, apologies have been made, and relationships have been mended.  Right on top of those problems Chris and I were continually hurt by people we considered friends.  We are attending church in a branch that goes by its own rules and accepts dishonesty more than honesty, gossip more than truth, and ignorance rather than acceptance.  We have 5 primary children in the branch but it feels just like dealing with lots of children.  Never in my life have I been somewhere (school, work, family or otherwise) where I have felt so unimportant, bullied, or so ostracised.  This, unfortunately seems to be getting worse, not better and although there are some genuinely lovely people in the branch - as in life, the bad outweighs the good a lot of the time and Chris and I are praying for a miracle i.e. dissolving the branch.  All of this, coupled with a bit of a cancer scare (nothing dramatic, just a visit to a specialist who said nothing was wrong, the result of a concerned GP), a very lonely Thanksgiving, some missed opportunities, and a dear husband who forgot an important date - November has not been my month.
So now here is December and after all that I am supposed to be feeling the "Christmas Spirit", which usually comes quite quickly (in the middle of November) for me but seems to be seeping in slowly but surely - enough, anyway, to get our pathetic 4 ft. tree put up and a few decorations up.  This Christmas is difficult, mostly because I am comparing it to last Christmas when we were home in Utah.  This, hopefully, will be our last Christmas in England (living here anyway) so I am trying to be positive. 
Our town is lit up with lights (pictures to come) and it is absolutely FREEZING.  We've even had some snow...
This month we are planning a trip to London, it is lovely there at Christmas and helps me re-connect with Chris, since that is where we spent so much time when we were dating.  In a few weeks we are driving (with Chris' parents) into Belgium to spend a weekend there.  I am really looking forward to it. 
We do have a lot of goals for the new year, one of which is to travel a lot more.  With £1.00 flights all over Europe it should be a good goal and we are now making every Friday our driving day -- driving to places all over the country that we've not seen.  I am trying to be positive and figure since we are here we should take advantage.
So this is me trying to forget the past month but, I find it quite difficult.  I am sure a lot of your have had to deal with tough family or church situations, being away from home or being depressed - what has made you feel better or forget past wrongs??
I will be posting more and plan on doing the 12 days of Christmas through photos so look for that.
OH! By the way.... if you are wanting a good, by good I mean amazing, online radio to listen to with never-ending choices for Christmas go to http://www.accuradio.com/ -- I usually listen to the broadway station, but switch over for Christmas (although, the do have a Broadway Christmas so I get two-in-one).

One Year Older

Hello Internet.  I hope you all had a very good Halloween. 
As for me, it was my birthday.  Now, I have not had too much good luck with birthdays so needless to say I didn't hold out hope for this one.  I kept joking to Chris that I was just going to sleep until Saturday morning.  He didn't let me - I awoke to a lovely breakfast in bed (made by Chris).  He seemed more excited about me opening my presents than I did.  When I did open them I was pleasantly surprised by a CD that I had really wanted, one CD that I already had (its okay, he didn't know), and a lovely silver heart necklace.  He did very good.  I also got some clothes from my mom back at home.  I got a great phone call from my mom and dad, which topped of the great morning.   I was so glad that they called even though it is hard to be away from home for me, but it gets especially hard on birthdays and holidays.  I just relaxed before we were supposed to go out to dinner - I had a bit of a set back of fleeting depression - but after I read what Chris wrote about me on his blog, there was no way I could be depressed and we got ready and went to Chili's.  This is a special treat because it tends to be kind of expensive and it is in Cambridge - but it was a special day so we went.  It was such good food!!  Then we came home and relaxed.  It was a low-key but absolutely lovely birthday.
The weekend was made even better by my Saturday.  Some Americans that I know had arranged to go to the base and they were kind enough to invite me to go along.  One of the girls is called Jenni.  She has a husband in the military and she was the one with access to the base.  She is such a fun person, not only does she have 6 kids, but, she is on her 3rd book.  She is re-writing all of Jane Austins books for teens.   The other girl is called Natalie and she is in a similar situation as me.  She married an Englishman and moved from California to be here.  She and I have a lot in common and it is very good to have someone who knows how I feel.  We went to the base and we were in HEAVEN!!  We got to eat at Taco Bell, went to a mall type place and got some holiday candles and then we went to the grocery store on base, at this point I thought I'd died and gone to heaven... isles and isles of American food.  If I tried really hard I could almost forget I was in England.  I was surrounded by American accents and using dollars!!   Jenni shared her groceries with us. I got things that I had been craving for a year.  She also was so kind to get me a Yankee Candle with an amazing top for Christmas, as a birthday present.  We shopped and shopped and looked and looked.  Not only was the experience so fun, but I made some great friendships with Jenni and Natalie.  When I was wavering if I should go or not, my wise mother said -- you've been craving friends and Taco Bell, you never know what a blessing this might be.  And she was so right.  Now I have an invite to Bunco on the base every month were I get to meet more Americans, but more importantly friends.
This weekend has been unforgettable.  There are few times, especially as of late, that happiness has been a part of my life.  Chris makes me happy but that is the extent of it.  It just goes to show how the little things mean so much.  I am thankful for Chris for making such an effort this year for my birthday - he knows how difficult its been for me.
I have so many plans for this new year... I like to try to make Birthday Resolutions and I have lots of goals for the coming year - and hopefully most of them will take place in America.  I just have to keep telling myself -- STAY POSITIVE - after all, I may be on the upper end of it, but I am still in my 20's!! 

On Getting Older and other Mindless Chatter...

Things here at the Flattley house are boring and horrible beginning of the week.  The weather isn't playing fair at all and FINALLY today for a few minutes here and there the sun has decided to stop making us miserable and showing itself - accompanied with high winds - but sun, none the less.
Everytime the seasons begin to change here it takes quite a while to get used to it.  My mind tells me that Autumn brings with it cooler weather and quite a bit of rain but, I tend to forget and then when it comes it takes quite a while to get used to.
Today I found them, hiding , mixed in with the others and EXTREMELY defiant.  I am only 27 but after doing my research I have found that they happen because of stress and genetics - but give me a break TWO gray eyebrow hairs?!?!!?  TWO on the same eyebrow at the same time?  If stress does this to me, makes me older, I will have a walker by the time I get back to America!  Please someone else my age tell me you've found some too... please...
Chris and I are starting on his Visa this week.... America here we come, we have a place to live (thanks to an amazing friend) but we will also need a car (any will do - have you seen our old car Bella??) and we, of course will need jobs...  keep your eyes and ears open for me please :)
On a serious note:  Chris and I are struggling to stay above water here in England - we are both looking for jobs and searching for a solution but any thoughts or prayers from our "support" back home would be very appreciated!

On a much, much happier, lovely note:
Today is one of my favourite peoples birthdays... my dad. 
This last time at the temple I was taking pictures of the lovely flowers and I stopped and turned to Chris and said, "taking pictures of flowers?  I am turning into my dad!"
And then I thought to myself, I cant think of many other people I would love to be like.
I miss him like crazy - his influence on my life for good cannot be measured.  When they speak of "spiritual giants" he is mine, and many other peoples as well.
He is a good example to so many around him and I cant wait to get home and just spend time with him...
I love you dad!!!  Happy Birthday!!!
P.S. Dad, your oldest daughter is getting gray hair... you're not old enough to have a daughter with gray hair... are you???

In Retrospect...

I have a lovely family.  My youngest sister is going to be graduating from High School this June. I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  Thinking about what was going on when I graduated from High School, who I was friends with and who my held my heart, and thinking about what advice, if any, I would have wanted or taken.  Thinking of such advice has led me on a long, thought provoking walk down "memory lane".  I have had so many different feelings and thoughts these past few days I struggle to put them in a blog, because some of them seem deeply personal to me.  It has been quite fun to remember some of the things that I did that I really enjoyed and it has been quite refreshing to re-read through journal entries and realize that some of the pain I went though, that at the time I didn't think would EVER dull, has.  It has also given me the reassurance that I am a lot stronger than I often give myself credit for.  But, I have learned that the knowledge of strength is something that only comes AFTER the situation.
I know this entry is vague, but I just didn't want you to think I have forgotten about you Internet -- more interesting blogs to come.

Resolution

Alright well I am not quite well yet - I went to the doctor yesterday and found out I had tonsillitis.  So with a strong dose of antibiotics I have been "sleeping it off" but not without going into work this week and especially yesterday, where, the plague has come upon the building.  With all the babies going home with the super flu bug that is INFESTING - and I am just waiting....
At any rate I am at least getting out and around and it is not as bad as the nurse acted like it was - she didn't even need one of those throat - light things to look - she could see all the swelling and redness and puss without it.  YUCK!
So needless to say I haven't even THOUGT of Resolutions... well that is a lie - I've THOUGHT about them but have done nothing.  I have been eating better and everyone at work who say me says I've lost weight ( I never noticed - but I'll take it!). 
So I will start with one, that most of you can keep tabs on - to keep in better touch with my friends and family via blog, emails, letters, cards, and phone calls. 
After living here for so long I have some very sad journal entries from when I first was here, that told of how much I missed everyone - desperately.  But, as time has worn on, although those people are ALWAYS on my mind - I became numb to those feelings, I think as  self preservation.  I remember one day after Chris had bought tickets to America, I didn't want to go - and he didn't understand.  No one would - why would I not want to go over and see everyone again?  I told him, it would be too hard.  It would be too hard to realize how much I NEED them and then have to leave and get used to being alone all over again.  That is exactly what happened!  In the last week I have found myself re-reading those entries from 18 months ago and am discouraged that I feel the same way again.  This time though, there is a very pressing and urgent feeling to get back but we are stuck - stuck with bills and unemployment and just the logistics of it all and that is just as frustrating.  There is strength in those journal entries - I GOT THROUGH... there is a light at the end and even now I am beginning to feel "normal" again, and have even noticed my English "accent" is coming back with a vengeance.
So why the story?  My family and friends are my so important to me and every time I get an email from any of them my happiness boosts, and that pain of missing them is dulled for a little while - it is great.  But I figure I need to do something too, so, that is the reason for ONE of my resolutions!!!
Stay tuned for more.....    
P.S. Would you like to see some pictures of my favourite things?  NEW PICS POSTED!

Please Pass the Cold Medicine

Alright so it looks like I got a little ahead of myself with my last post... it seems like, although the New Years resolution I shared was quite noble for the time, maybe I should have made a resolution like:  Take more, LOTS more, vitamin C or when Chris gets sick - STAY AWAY - those seem a lot more appropriate now, considering our current circumstances of me, going on 4 days sick and Chris going on who knows how many!  All my other resolutions have been put on the back burner, oh except the eating well one because, being sick we aren't eating much at all.
And it couldn't have been at a worse time - can I be honest?  Just when I thought I couldn't take any more problems, was at the end of my rope - I get sick - and that makes everything worse.
Since we've been back to England (be prepared for some complaining) the following things have happened:

*  We've had to buy a new car.
*  My work hours have been cut to a very LEAN 8 hours a week.
*   They suspect we have a water leak for our apartment.
*  No one will come and show us how to work our heaters so we are freezing and being infested with mold (nice I know).
*  One single page of jobs in the paper and NONE that either Chris or I would qualify for.
*  In-laws that aren't all too happy with me and Chris.
*  Rent STILL owing - council still hasn't sorted out our pesky 4 children problem (they think we have 4).

But before you think our life is all gloom and doom - we did by a dryer (que angelic choir)!
So between fighting my flu, fighting my boss, fighting my landlord, and fighting my homesickness (the biggest fight of all) - we are hanging in there - barely.
And that is the story of why I haven't written... am I forgiven? 

Manna

Dictionary says:
A miraculous food which sustained the Israelites in the wilderness.
Change Israelites to "This American Girl" and change wilderness to "March, England" and the definition is spot on!

Who says time flies?

Hello Internet...
I passed a HUGE anniversary just this weekend.  I didn't get any cards or presents - no one even noticed or said one thing - NOT EVEN MY OWN HUSBAND.   But it was a big deal, to me. 
The reason it was such a big deal was, because at times I thought I'd never make it to this anniversary - month after month I said to myself "It will get better..." and sometimes it did, but sometimes it didn't.  Sometimes I was ready to call it quits and didn't care if I ever reached this anniversary because I liked things the way they were before.  That being said, sometimes I was so in love that the anniversary seemed to sneak up on me without warning or trouble.
I have a pair of shoes that I used to wear that remind me of my anniversary.  When I first started out they were new, blindingly white and not too comfortable... and now???

I wore these shoes on my wedding day, but that isn't the anniversary I am talking about.
I also wore these shoes when I stepped onto a plane that would take me to England, these shoes were on my feet when I took my first steps on English soil - not as a visitor - but as a resident.  I wore these shoes when I took all of my belongings and put them into a caravan to live.  I was wearing them when I walked through London and York and Newcastle.  I wore these shoes when I first drove my own English car, on the wrong side of the road.  I wore this shoes to really great days out and on really hard days in.
They are no longer new, white or uncomfortable... these shoes are me after a year in England.
I am not longer that person who put those shoes on, on my wedding day.  I have lived in England.  I am no longer white with in-experience I am a little worn for the wear but I am also comfortable, more comfortable than I was a year ago.
So Happy Anniversary to Jamie and England... here's to the tears and the laughter the sadness and the joy and here's to many more years together!

A Walk Down Memory Lane...

Tonight I was reading through my old journal and I found this entry from my first trip to England in September 2001:
"The day I have dreaded the whole trip.  I have to go home tomorrow.  I am here catching up on my writing, but, not really wanting to go to sleep because I know it ends tomorrow.  I love England.  I belong in England.  The feeling I get is one of peace when I am here.  I am so surprised I am not homesick but I think, how could I be homesick when I am home?  That is what I feel.  I came on this holiday to figure things out, and I have.  I dread tomorrow, I don't want it to come because I know I have to leave.  And I know when I get home I will be homesick then.  Homesick not just for my friends but for this place.  You know it is funny - I think now I am realizing why I am so drawn to British boys.  It is because they will help me be there.  I am so glad that I got to come here and to discover this place and to fall in love with this place.  I will miss it terribly, more than I have missed anything in my life."
I remember writing that entry through tear filled eyes.  I REALLY felt that way.  I really felt something about this country that I couldn't quite describe, it's deep feeling that has never left me.  I guess what I need to do now is remember those feelings.
How do you think that quote would look on my bathroom mirror???

1,000,000,000,000th Day of Rain...

Last summer when I got to England it was HOT and SUNNY - awful by all standards... but all the English were in heaven.  News stories bombarded the television of hot, humid, sunny weather.  Everyone was enjoying themselves, everyone except me.  I was MISERABLE.  I was living in Chris' parents caravan and dreaded waking up to the heat and spent all of my time sitting in front of fans.   I prayed and prayed for rain, something to cool me down something to give me relief to the awful weather.  To my surprise it started to rain, just pour down, and I was so pleased - nothing could be better than this rain.  10 months later and I feel like it hasn't stopped.  I feel like the rain is a really good parable to my life.  I know that there has been sunny days here in England - I cant remember them (probably because I was too busy wishing them away).  I know there have been days without rain, but I cant remember what it is like.  That is how I feel now too with my life - I know there has been sunny, happy days in my life, I know it - I lived it, but I just cant remember it.  The rain doesn't help with a person's mood, as welcome as that rain was back in July, the sun is now.

The Shortest Weekend EVER...

Hello Internet!  How was your weekend?  Mine?  SHORT!
Friday night Chris' friend Taylor came over to spend the weekend. 
Saturday we ventured down to London to meet up with my cousin and her husband who are visiting England.  We didn't take any pictures because well, we have all the pictures from London that we need.  We went to a museum and got to see Michelangelo 'David' (yes the real thing....) I probably should have taken a picture of that.... oh well... Then we met up with my cousin and spent a very nice evening with her.  It was strange to know that I am halfway around the world, but I had dinner with a family member.  

Sunday we skipped church and just hung out.  I made dinner.  It was a great weekend but went quite fast.
I wasn't expecting the surge of homesickness that seeing a family member would bring.  I feel like I've been set back months.  It is a strange feeling knowing I have a life here and most of the time I can put it out of my mind, you know the fact that I live so far away, but actually seeing family and then having them leave and knowing that they are flying home and not  just driving for 20 minutes really has thrown me.  I miss home terribly, I know this feeling is one I will always have - but it has been a hard day with those feelings so close to the surface.
I start my new job tomorrow which I am a bundle of nerves for too... I am sure it will be fine, but like always, I am working myself up over it.
So today has been a yucky day.  I am sure that the constant week of rain hasn't helped either.  Yesterday I saw a patch of sun, I moved on the couch so it could shine right in my face, but no sooner had I done that, it was gone.  Here is the view today out of the window....

I should've Learned by Now...

Chris and I often joke that when I say one thing... the opposite happens.
For example:  Where we live we have a common parking lot, meaning, no reserved spots and anyone can part there.  People shopping in town or at the town market often park in the car park.  People who work in nearby offices often park in our car park, and yet, Chris and I have never had a problem finding a great parking space.... that is until the other week when I said to Chris, "You know when we moved in here everyone said we'd have a hard time finding a place to park and we've been so lucky!"  Like clockwork ever since I said that we have found it VERY difficult to find a place to park.
So you'd think I'd learned my lesson, to stop, and don't say ANYTHING.... but what do I do?  I open my mouth and say, "I get to take 2 University classes!" and I top it off with, "I am so excited!"
BAM!!!
I cant get financial aid to study there because I haven't lived in the country long enough. I am so disappointed, who would have thought I would be disappointed about NOT going to school.
Good thing I am not too excited about starting work or else I know I'd loose that too.
From now on - I am keeping my opinion to myself...
Man!  I was really looking forward to school.....

How Much Would you Pay to Feel more at 'Home'?

Moving House.... again...

Hello Blog Readers! 

As you can tell my the title we are moving house again....  Olga (The Dragon) talks too lound for her own good, but this time, loud enough for my good.  I overheard her talking to her son saying she was going to just have the house empty for her trip to Australlia.  Chris and I were blind to this fact  until I heard this - at which point we talked about it and decided to have Chris ask her ;) She said she did want us out so we were back to asking his parents to take us back - which I didnt feel too bad asking about, because at dinner the other day Chris' mom and dad both spoke to us about how much they wanted us back.  And there is a perk to moving back.... a car.  Thats right... look out England -- Jamie is going to be driving! 

So pretty much these last 2 months up here have been a waste, we never would have moved up here, had we not had the offer to have a house to ourselves while she was gone.  Even then not just the last 2 month, but since we got here in July, because since then we'd been planning to move up.  So we miss out on 3 months of work, maybe our own place to live, and a lot more piece of mind for me.

I have been completely depressed while we've been here in Doncaster.  I have been taking St. Johns Wart to help, and it takes the edge off a little.  I was sad in March (Chris' parents house) but I think a lot of that was homesickness... Here I have had a hard time the whole time, and that is with the homesickness under control (I think).  It is a chore to get out of bed, it is a chore to act happy around friends and family and Chris.  He knows I have been struggling but not the extent.  As much as I hate to say it, I feel better knowing we are moving back.  I will be around my amazing Mother-in-law, a great church group, my sister-in-laws, and all the other family.  Dont get me wrong there are things here I will miss, the friends I've made here and especially the landscapes. 

I hope things get better in March.  Every now and then I get a far off view of happiness and contentment but right now it seems quite far away.  I am having a birthday in a few weeks and look back at the last year and realize that most of it has been filled with UN-happiness and I hate that it is a whole year wasted.  I hope this year will be better and I hope that I can appreciate things more. 

I feel alright now... I must, if the only thing I am REALLY sad about today, is having to take down my Halloween decorations before Halloween.

Same Old Same Old

Autumn has officially hit England.  It has gotten cold and rainy and is starting to get dark quite early!

I really miss my Utah autumns.  Here, you can tell it is Autumn, but the leaves on the trees are slow to change colors and Halloween here isnt what it is in America, and they, of course, skip right through Thanksgiving.  Yesterday on television I saw a Christmas commercial.

I knew when I left Utah there would be several things I would miss, but on a daily basis there are things that I end up missing that I didnt even think of when I decided to move. 

Today I miss my Utah autumn.  Give me those mountians full of color over England any day.

An Update....

Greetings from Doncaster, England!  We are here, and I admit I am slow at posting.  Things have been, should we say, a little difficult here at the Flattley/Eagle household.  No, no, nothing bad just some adjusting.  I think I am finally finding my groove and am able to write a semi-happy post. 

Moving to a different country is DIFFICULT!  I didnt think it would be as hard as it has been, but what do they say, time heals all wounds and I am getting the hang of this England thing.  If you were to talk to me on the phone, I've been told, you'd hear a definate English twist to my questions and some of my words.  I am begining to spell the english way (centre, tyres, kerb) and even date my journal the english way (26.09.06).  Although we lack a car at the moment, I have been reading the highway code and have to re-learn how to drive.  I have to tell my brain that things are backwards and usually re-read the page 2 or 3 times before I "get it".

We are living with a blind (almost), deaf (almost), old (very) Essex woman.  She is very opinionated and very VERY loud.  She has been nice though, and has made us feel very much at home.  She is traveling to Australlia for 6 months in the end of October, which I should be sad to see her go, but secretly (I guess not so secretly) I cant wait.   

So there is the update.  Hopefully I can keep more up on my post now, that is if I have time between doing nothing, and doing nothing.....