I’ll Start Tomorrow… Or the Next Day…

Hello Internet!  It has been hot and sunny here in England – too hot, and too sunny – but that is the least of my problems!
I went to see the Dietician last Wednesday.  The day started out being long as I walked a mile to the train station, all through the mall in Peterborough, 1/2 mile to the hospital and did the whole thing again on the way back home (minus the mall).
The Dietician was very nice, a departure from the usual NHS staff, and took quite a bit of time talking to me about my new diagnosis.  She gave me a list of the things I can and cannot eat.  I cant eat anything that contains Wheat, Rye, Barley, and Oats.  That may not seem like a lot when you see it like that, but almost everything we eat has one of the 4 ingredients and what’s more, Coeliacs cant even eat anything that MAY have been contaminated with Gluten.  This means even a crumb can be shown in my levels in my blood tests.  For me and Chris this means separate toasters, separate butter, separate spreads, and separate anything that might be contaminated.  This also means I am the annoying one at the restaurant that needs to know EVERY ingredient and how and where the food has been cooked.  It also means I am going to be the one who has to have my special bread on a special tray for the sacrament (ohhhh the embarrassment!!!). 
The good thing – it isn't life threatening and the damage can be reversed – IF I stick to a completely Gluten free diet.  The dietician told me to have a nice weekend and don't start the diet till I feel ready or else I’ll just fail.  This weekend Chris and I went to the shop and got pasta, bread, tortillas, cookies, cheesecake, crisps, biscuits, and chocolate for my “last Gluten filled weekend”!  We went out to dinner and had pizza, chips, and fried mozzarella.  The sad thing is, is that most of the things I’ve eaten this weekend have been very disappointing, really yucky. 
Most the time I feel quite positive about it but then my thoughts turn to everything I wont be able to eat again (mostly around holidays – pumpkin cookies, pumpkin pie, pie, sugar cookies, gravy, fresh rolls, pancakes… the list goes on and on….) I cant lie about it (they’ll be taking my blood each month or so to check my levels) and also seeing the Dietician.  I am just going to have to bite the bullet and do it and hopefully not cheat TOO much.
I had set the goal of starting tomorrow, but I keep making up excuses and think maybe I’ll start another day…. :)

D - Day

Well, maybe not as dramatic as D-day but this Wednesday is a big day for me, a life changing day. 
I have mentioned before that I was in the process of being tested for Celiac Disease.  I got my blood test back in December and my levels were very high so the specialist referred me to get a biopsy.  I went through that whole ordeal (the biopsy itself wasn't a big deal, just the drama surrounding actually getting there) and the doctor (here in England they aren't called “doctors” but Consultants – don't ask me why – I don't know or understand it!) said she would post me the results as soon as she got them.
This past week I got the dreaded letter saying yes, I do have Celiac.  The Consultant said she would get me an appointment with the Dietician.  I wasn't going to hold my breath because last time I had an appointment with a dietician I waited about 6 months.  While I was at my interview Thursday, Chris got a call from the Hospital saying my appointment was this coming Wednesday - SHOCKING!
So, what does this mean to me?  It means Wednesday I go see the woman who is going to tell me that “officially” I shouldn't eat ANYTHING with Gluten in it.  Have you ever paid attention what food has Gluten  in it or any kind of Gluten product?!?  EVEYRTHING – alright, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration too, but almost everything does.
The good thing about being diagnosed I will get gluten free products from the NHS – goodbye huge grocery bills (pasta, bread, crackers, cookies, etc.) and everything I’ve read and heard says I will feeling 100% better after a few weeks on the new diet.
But it is a huge change and I am not too sure I am ready for it.  As it is, I don't feel very sick – not like a lot of sufferers who get REALLY ill when they have even a crumb of gluten.
So right now I am trying not to think about it, even though that isn't working very well because everything I eat I think, “awwwww this is the last time I’ll be able to eat this….”

You Say Celiac, I Say Coeliac

After a quite ominous letter received the day after Chris and I got back from our HORRIBLE Brussels trip, saying “YOU HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR COELIAC!” (Alright maybe not in bold or all caps but that is what it translated to me) I FINALLY, today, had my first appointment with my Specialist (THANKS FOR THE 2 MONTH WAIT NHS!). 
I had to take the train down to the hospital, after getting there an hour early and then waiting in the dreary clinic an HOUR after my appointment time – I walked into the exam room.  The doctor was very, very kind and took time to ask all about my symptoms and SHOCKINGLY wanted to read all my past history from Utah and even wanted to take some copies for her notes (very refreshing!).  She told me that I should have been officially diagnosed back in Utah, but that she would do a full work up to make sure and then get me on the road to better health :)  She told me that I needed to get another Endoscopy (oh joy!) and also, she would need a full blood work up because often thyroid and glucose are often closely related. 
If you know me at all… you know I have horrible time giving anyone any of my blood – see exhibit A:

This was my arm when I was in hospital a few years ago and they could only find one vein down that arm that they used again and again – and I wont even get started about about the time they had to use and ultrasound machine to find a vein during another hospital stay – needless to say I give those nurses a run for their money!
All of this being said, I knew there would be problems today because I had only had a few bits of muffin and a half a bottle of water in the morning and that equals trouble.
SIX tries later, and not just one little try - the nurses get so frustrated they root around in there moving the needle all around the vein (PAIN) – they found no blood.  So now, instead of getting the results within the week, now I have to go to my regular doctors surgery and get it done there and sent away (THANKS AGAIN NHS!)
So how am I feeling?  I will be honest – I am not at all ready to face it, to change my whole lifestyle and to miss out on some of the things I love.  I have it under control for the most part, I know what makes me sick (including chocolate) and I know how to handle it – can I commit to it? NO, not now.  But then the doctor says, “this is a complete change – there is no halfway about it!  You may not want to hear it, but this had health consequences that reach far beyond an upset stomach.”
I guess I’ll just have to see how the next few weeks play out and see if I really want to do this right now – regardless of the consequences.