Blue Skies?

Well this weekend we were blessed with gorgeous blue skies and mild temperatures.  I have learned that any time the sun shines in England to – GO OUTSIDE and enjoy it because you never know when it will be back.  We did just that this weekend.  It happened to be sweet Gracie’s 3rd Birthday as well.  It is so strange to see these nieces and nephews grow up!  Because Gracie’s Mum and Dad aren't together any longer, we don't get to see her as much as we used to – so every time we see her it seems like her and her brother have grown so much!
      
This Georgia just “chillin” on the swing with me.  She loved wearing those glasses, but upon further inspection her mum and I decided they were quite strange – and I thought they were slightly reminiscent of Johnny Depp’s in Willy Wonka!
 
Anyway….

My Mother-in-Law has done a great job of making the back garden very child friendly.  They have so many toys and things to play with in the garden that a child couldn't ask for more – except…  they spent hardly any time in there at all!  Typical!

Chris entertained Madie.  She loves him more than anyone in the extended family.  She will go straight to him – all the time.

This is Madie.  She HATED walking on the grass and was quite pleased with herself when she made it to the concrete.  She is the youngest child in the family – which is strange because for nearly 5 years there has ALWAYS been a baby around.

My Mother-in-Law also provided some entertainment.  When she fell instead of Chris (or anyone) running to her aid, we laughed and Chris took a picture. 

Just look at that blue sky – not a cloud in sight! It is what the English would call “lush”.

And here is the Birthday girl…  How lucky am I?  To be surrounded by beautiful nieces and nephews and get to witness them growing up?  One of the blessings of still living in England!

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The Countdown Begins

Hello Friends…

Well, even though it has only been since November that I had my last surgery, I had completely forgotten how nervous I got beforehand.  I will be having my surgery next Tuesday and I am starting to get pretty nervous!

Next Monday I have to suffer through the unpleasantness that is “Bowel Prep” (I wont be sharing too many details about that!)  I have to be at the hospital by 7:30 – that is, if they have a bed.  I have to call an hour before hand to make sure there is a bed for me.  Chris got the day off (thanks to a co-worker who is going to work his shift for him that day).  He has the next day off too – and hey, lucky me I have a ride to the hospital!!  I made it quite clear to the nurse at the pre-op appointment that I got really sick after I woke up last time, so she is going to make sure that I get the meds to help that BEFORE the surgery, not an hour or so after.  Also, I have asked for some fluids in my IV after the surgery so I don't feel so dehydrated and get such a bad headache.  I am hoping these things coupled with prayers, blessings, good doctors, and SMALL incisions will have me sleeping safely in my own bed the night of my surgery.  Of course, I think I need to prepare that I  might have to stay the night – but I am trying to be positive! 

I am encouraged by the statistics I’ve found online for conceiving after the surgery.  Granted, they aren't TOO high, but they are much more positive than I was thinking when we got the dreaded letter at Christmas.

Since May 6th, 2007 we have been working with various doctors to “fix” me.  Thinking back I was so desperate to have answers.  When I finally got those answers they were not at all what I thought they would be, and they stirred up emotions that I wasn't prepared for. 

Some days I want to shout it out from the roof-tops, “I struggle with infertility!  Please be patient with me!!”  I want to explain to everyone why I avoid the “baby section” of the shops, why, at family parties, I “tune out” or walk away.  Why I cant watch a show with a baby born in it without shedding a few tears.  But, other times I just want to lay in bed and keep it to myself.  Often I have wondered what I did to deserve it?  Why things are so unfair!  But most days, I don't do either – I get up in my one-bedroom apartment and cope.  You’d be surprised at how many things you have to “cope” with when you are struggling.   I get reminders constantly that I don't have children, and at the end of the day it isn't so much what I am missing out on – but what Chris is, what my parents are, what my family is missing out on – and that is when I break down.  But, I keep going, and have for 3 years with the hope of a solution.  I realize that this surgery may not provide my broken body with a way to carry a child, but if it doesn't, then I continue to hope – and just keep going.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your love, prayers, and support.  They buoy me up when I feel down and they help me realize that Chris and I aren't alone.

Easter in England

A lot of the time when I tell people that I live in England (or that I’m from America) they ask me what is the MOST different thing about living here.  I have to admit, when I first was planning on moving here I thought that very few things would be different.  I had visited before, but never lived here, and the things I did while on holiday didn't seem TOO much different than back home. 
BOY WAS I WRONG!
There are so many thing that are similar, but there are even more things that are different. 
Back home in Utah, I was very used to the Easter Bunny coming and visiting (on Saturday morning, we’d get our baskets so that on Sunday we could focus on the real meaning of Easter).  I was used to peeps, malted milk balls (that double as lipstick) and jelly beans.  Boy, was I surprised when on my first Easter in England, to begin with, I searched high and low for a basket – only to find one at the florist, extremely over priced, and just plain wicker – the day before Easter.
I found at the shops there were no Peeps or Jelly Beans or anything like that, but they did have….  CHOCOLATE EGGS.  No, not just little chocolate eggs, but hollow chocolate eggs that were as big as my hand – no, Chris’ hand! 
        
I am ashamed to admit, the first Easter we were here we went overboard and, I think, bought at least 4 for each of us (and I wonder where this extra weight came from).  Anyway…
Here in England, Easter isn't just a Sunday holiday, it is a four day holiday.
Good Friday:  Chris and I went to a multi-church open air service in the town square.  It was good, but after 30 minutes and only 2 songs into the service – we left.  Most of the shops are either closed or have “Bank Holiday” hours (10-4).
Saturday:  Funny enough, this is just a “regular” day.  There are no reduced hours – but I can say, with strong conviction – that if you go shopping for Easter eggs on this day, there will only be the very EXPENSIVE ones left.
Easter Sunday: Pretty much the same as it is in the states.  The church next door was packed all day long.
Bank Holiday Monday:  The stores are, once again, only run on reduced hours.  People don't have to work (mostly).  Families just spend time together (my extended family did DIY and cleaning out in the back garden).  Bank Holidays are notorious for rain and bad weather.
Some of the “traditional” foods at Easter are: Hot Cross Buns, Roast Lamb, and, of course, chocolate.
Hope you all had a lovely Easter and aren't suffering from chocolate overload TOO much, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to TRY to work off some of about 10,000 chocolate calories.