A Bit of a Pickle

Alright Internet friends I need your advice.

Here are the facts:

Chris and I have a car that we paid £300.00 for a year ago. It has been a great car and we've not had any problems with it. It has around 84,000 miles on it, which is quite good considering it is a car made around 1994.

I finally got my license and right now we are tying to get the car up and running. So far we've paid £109.00 for a new exhaust for it and today we got back from the mechanics and we are looking at another £300.00 to fix it before it can be taxed (tax is £66.00).

The lovely mechanic said that he'd do us a payment plan (£40.00 a week) until paid off.

So we could pay to get the car fixed (more than we paid for it and HEFTY weekly repayments)

OR...

We could go down to the car dealership, trade in the car we have now for parts and get a newer car for LESS than we would be paying to sort out the car.

This means we'd be in debt for the car and add to our budget another chunk of money.

So what do you think? Should we pay to fix the car we have now, or should we cut our losses and get a newer car with less repairs??

What do you think?

Like Taking a Bullet...

After reading about a friend's unexpected pregnancy and seeing this picture on their blog... I feel like I've just taken a bullet.

Just when I forget for a moment, I somehow find something to remind me.

My Green Thumb

I never had much luck with plants. I tried a few times when I lived in Utah and they all died... I thought, children I can care for, but plants? plants are too hard to keep alive.

Then I moved to England. My first experience with growing a plant was the Valentines day plant.

Around the end of Feb. I had had enough of the dreary weather and decided to add some plants to my life. I bought a window box and lots of plants and was intent to make them grow. Here they are only a few days after being planted.

Then the daffodils started to die so I cut them down and waited for the plants to grow. I carefully watered them and made sure they were placed in optimal sun...

Then they started to flourish...

Then they started to get a bit out of control. Flowers blooming all over the place and every day it looked as if they had grown bigger and bigger. I water them every other day a whole bottle of water and the use all of it. There is serious overcrowding (something I NEVER even thought of). They are lovely and bring spring inside of the house, and I think that by the summer they are going to be taking over the windowsill.

So I guess now, I can officially say I have a green thumb!

I cant wait til I have my own garden!!

Overheard

Overheard at the Bus Stop...



Girl 1: What ever happened to Brian?

Girl 2: He is in prison!

Girl 1: Why?

Girl 2: He was at a junction in March and he pushed the pushchair into traffic with the kids in it.

He said he was angry that his daughter got a bag of crisps and he didn't.



Parenting at its best!

Are We Not All Mothers?

When I was about 20 and attending Young Adults in my home ward, we were asked to put together the yearly Mothers Day program for Sacrament Meeting. I was asked to do a talk about mothers. Simple enough right? But it wasn't simple. During the weeks before my talk I couldn't shake a conference talk from mind by Sheri Dew called: Are We Not All Mothers? I felt drawn to give that talk because I felt a certain empathy for those women in the ward who were not mothers. Not understanding completely why I was compelled to base my talk on that, I followed my feelings and did base my talk on every woman being a mother and being called to help the children that surround her, whether her own or others. Little did I know at that point in my life, that nearly 10 years later I would be one of those women I had such an affinity for.

And now, how I struggle to remember the message I wanted to give to those women!

Luckily, I am surrounded (not figuratively but emotionally) by supportive women who remind me that I can strive to possess those qualities that mothers have.

As I look back at my adult life I can see how special opportunities have been put in my way to work on those qualities and, I have had the unique opportunity to be as close to being a mother as possible, without giving birth. There was wisdom in Gods plan of having me support a friend through adoption. There was wisdom in having friends who had babies first and me being able to support them and be someone they called on when they needed help. There was absolute wisdom in the answer of many prayers (not just mine) of my greatest opportunity to be a nanny for 5 beautiful children whom I loved as much as I could, and subsequently found an amazing friend through that experience, along with a lot of other inspiring people during that time.

I felt that when I left my nanny job, my next step would be having children of my own. Of course, that was what I thought - newly married with an ideal life ahead of me. Little did I know that my "ideal life" was not to be had.

Years went by and no baby came - somehow in my grieving for that dream I had forgotten that I had the ability to love like a mother. Up until just a few days ago, I forgot about that talk that I had felt so prompted to share. I was as good of an auntie as I could be to my gorgeous nieces and nephews but there was a huge amount of detaching myself from them, because they represented my failings as a woman and mother.

But then God provided me with some tender mercies that have struck my heart.

Spending time with my newest niece, Madi (2 months old), and having her mom allow me to comfort her - and being able to sooth her, unlike some of the other mothers in the room.

Conference - and being told that if I was living a righteous life I had no reason to complain about trials.

An amazing email from a special friend that comforted me in ways nothing else could - and helped me remember how I used to feel about children.

And finally today, my sister in law asked me to go with her to get Madi her vaccinations. She doesn't like to be in there when she gets the shots (usually her husband goes) and she asked me. Someone who has no children, and trusted me enough with the baby to be the one to take her.

As I sat there with the small child on my lap, and as she got her shots and cried, but quieted down as soon as I cuddled her and held her in my arms - all those feeling came shooting back to me - I may never have children of my own - but I have the unique opportunity of being a mother to several different children - of that I am grateful and I can never be thankful enough for a moment of inspiration nearly 10 years ago - of the opportunity of giving myself something I really needed now - hope.

Love It!

I found this link from one of the other infertility blogs that I follow - I loved the video and I mostly loved another perspective.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/

Enjoy!

Exploring

Sometimes I get so caught up in wanting to be back in Utah, that I forget - I'M IN ENGLAND!

There are so many lovely places here in the UK that I have always wanted to visit. Now that I am getting the car fixed Chris and I are looking forward to being able to explore a bit more and I have a list of places I want to visit, both here in the UK and Europe, before I get to go back home. Although sometimes it is hard for me to remember NOW, I think at some point in my life, while doing the tedious, every day things, I will really regret it if I don't travel as much as possible while I have the opportunity.

Everywhere I go in this beautiful country I am surrounded by beauty. One of my favourite places thus far has been York, England. They have a majestic minster and is seeping with history. England is full of castles, history, and nature! One of the places we already have planed is to go up North, where my ancestors are from, and look for headstones and records of my family history.

So here are some of the places we plan on going this spring/summer:

Blackpool:

The Lake District:

The Isle of Man:

Wales:

Hadrians Wall (Scotland):

There are lots of countries I would love to visit while I am so close, the top 5 are:

1. Poland (Auschwitz)

2. Switzerland

3. Germany (to visit family)

4. Netherlands

5. Italy

The great thing is they are all so close... the bad thing? Money!

So tell me internet, where would you go if you were me?

I'm Too Old For This!

In January Chris and I got, what we now call "the letter", saying that our current car insurance would not be able to cover me driving in England any longer and that I needed to get my UK drivers license. Chris and I had been under the impression (for nearly 3 years) that I was okay to drive in the UK as long as I left the country every 12 months - WRONG. We found out that a USA license is only valid for 1 year from the time you move into the county.

Here in England they do things MUCH more different than they do in Utah. I first had to take my theory test. I didn't feel like studying much for that test and, of course, waiting until the last few days to study and then being VERY frustrated that every sample test I took, I failed. Here are some of the things in the Highway Code:

*Motorized Scooters should NOT be used on motorways (freeways).

*When riding your horse on the road, make sure you can control them.

*Make sure that children in the car are kept under control.

*The rules in the HIGHWAY CODE do NOT give you right of way on the road (you mean just reading a book doesn't give me right of way??)

*Note: Night is considered the hours of darkness.

*Be patient, everyone makes mistakes.

*Never use a handheld microphone while driving.

*You MUST ensure you do not hit anyone while opening the door.

*Give way to sheep.

Yes, they are all in the handbook we are meant to study. After passing the theory test (even with the silly questions) - I then had to start on the second leg of my testing, taking driving lessons and taking the practical test.

I was lucky enough to find a great instructor who I had great chats to, the whole time I was in the car (luckily he liked Americans). He was so positive that after the first 2 hour lesson I booked the test scheduled for April 30th. Herein lies the problem - Chris and I have a wedding to go to on the 16th of April and I needed to drive by then. So I was "lucky" enough to get a cancellation spot - ONE WEEK AFTER MY FIRST LESSON - panic ensued...

My instructor packed in 5 more hours of lessons this week in preparation for the test today.

I was so nervous... shaking, sick, speechless nervous! I know I am a good driver - 12 years, 4 countries, 5 cars (sick and auto) - and no accidents later proves this but, this test shook my confidence... like and earthquake!

It shouldn't have - I passed, and in a test where not looking in the mirrors enough, hitting the kerb, lane discipline can not only give you point off but fail you - I only got 3 points off out of the possible 15. I even managed to have a great conversation with my examiner during the test.

I am so pleased it is done! I can get the car fixed (tomorrow - I don't waste time!), tax, and MOT it and I AM FREE AGAIN!!!

I may be eating rice for the rest of the month, but I will be free!!!

Welcome!

Hello Faithful Readers! I am so pleased to have a new "space" to call my own! Obviously, it will continue to be "tweaked" while I get exactly what I want on it - but it feels good, new, and motivating!

You may be wondering about my title. I sat and sat, trying to figure out what title I wanted when I started thinking about musical terms - after some searching I stumbled upon the term "rubato" - and it fit perfectly!

While doing a bit of research on the term I found this quote:
"Rubato must emerge spontaneously from the music, it can't be calculated but must be totally free. It's not even something you can teach: each performer must feel it on the basis of his or her own sensitivity..."

While sometimes I feel like my life is quite boring, quite plain, and quite subdued - I find there are time of increased sensitivity, times where I let go of that regular tempo and add something to it - and those are the cadences written about in this blog.

My New Diggs

Hello!  I have finally made my new blog “presentable”, from this time on I will be posting my daily life on there so if you have an RSS feed or a link on your page please change it to my new one
http://jamieinjest.blogspot.com/
See you there!!!

The Decision

I started my blog nearly 4 years ago to the month.  I started a blog when no one really knew what they were, but found it a great way to share my life and practice my writing – two things which I love.
In that time I’ve been engaged, single, dated, been engaged again, moved to PA, moved to England, and lived life here in England for nearly 3 years.
I have a certain loyalty to Windows Live Blogging, but have found myself thinking of moving my blog to another site – for ease of use and because I am a girl, I like to accessorize (something I cant do very well here).   The main reason I am changing is because at some point I want to have my blog made into a book, for me, and Windows doesn't do that.
So I am going to be moving my blog.  I could never not blog, but I think it will be easier to have it through the same site as my fertility blog.
I will keep this blog, and as and when I “launch” my blog I will put all the info right here.
So sorry Windows, but I think it’s time we broke up… don’t worry it’s not you… it’s me.