What I’ll Miss – English Summer

Although I am still quite far from actually coming home to America, I have noticed a change in my thinking since we got the first paperwork back.

There are a lot of things I am going to miss. Shocking, I know!

I have found myself saying, “This is the last time ____________.”

So, I think I will start writing about them, just so I can remember them and then, when I am really homesick, I can read back and remember what I loved – and there really are a lot of things.

Today though, I will miss the English Summer – something I NEVER thought I’d say. I wont miss the heat or humidity – but I will miss the seaside, the long hours of daylight, and the “holiday mentality”.

I love the seaside, if you’ve read my blog at all the last few years – you’ll know that. I love that it is like a time warp once you hit the seaside. You have the old fashioned beach chairs, .99 ice cream, kids running around – soaking wet in clothes, swimming costumes, undies, and sometimes nothing – and you know what, no one cares! They are at the beach!! On nice days (which are few and far between most summers) the beaches are packed – even if the beach is dirty or rocky – no one cares they just congregate to the beach.

The children here in England only have a summer vacation of 6 weeks and they use all that time enjoying the sun. The sun rises around 4:30 AM and it is still light around 10:30 PM. It leaves LOTS of time for people to get out and enjoy themselves – the English are great at BBQing.

The English love their holidays. They save up for them through the year and often go to hotter places like Greece or Spain. I love that this country takes time to relax an enjoy each others company. I think America should defiantly follow England's lead – I think it makes for a happier people.

I will miss the English Summer.

Sweat it Out

Alright, so I am around week 5 of my “healthy living” lifestyle and can I just let you know that while I am seeing results (good ones) on the scale, I HATE it.
I am alright with eating better food. I think my key to that is that I give myself a “cheat” day when I can eat what I want (of course not to excess). That is the day I can eat out or get take away. That is the day I can eat cheese and chocolate (not together of course). My cheat day is saving me.
The thing I find the hardest is the exercise. While I will gladly profess my love of all things Richard Simmons – I have yet to find something I really enjoy. I thought maybe since the weather has turned so cool that would spur me on to walking more – nah, still hate it. Exercise videos? Yuck. Exercise ball – nope, but quite entertaining just to play with and occasionally kick at hubby – but that isn't MUCH exercise is it?
So…. what do I do? Any ideas????

Good New on the VISA Front…

Well Chris and I seem to be having really good luck with the Visa process.  We were told that it would be about 6 months all together, but, as we’ve filed paperwork we’ve gotten it back in weeks – not months. 
Today I was laying in bed trying to get “just 10 more minutes sleep” and Chris came in and seemed excited about something.
He had a paper in his hand.  He handed it to me and it was a letter from the Embassy saying they’d received our most recent paperwork and it was approved!
Now we have to get a medical appointment with the “Embassy approved physician”.  That appointment costs £180 and, although, when Chris called today the receptionist said that they could make us an appointment for 48 hours time, this is the part of the process that is going to take the most time and surprisingly it isn't because of the Embassy it is because we don't have all of the funds in place.
After Chris has the medical exam we can make an appointment for his interview at the Embassy.  Then we have to pay nearly $400 – but (fingers crossed) we’ll walk away with the assurance that Chris has a Visa.
I am so happy with the progress and feel so blessed that it is happening so smoothly.  I said to Chris today that I was a little torn about things.  I wanted it to move fast but it is happening so fast we haven't had time to save up.  If things keep going the way they have I would bet that we’ll be back to the USA in Spring/Late Spring.  What an exciting prospect!

P.S.  Dear Universe:  Please don't let this blog post jinx me for our dealings with the Embassy in the future.  Thanks!

Appointment Update

Hello Friends.  I just had an appointment with Fiona and thought I would update the blog. 

Luckily, I decided to call Fiona and ask her about some of the goals we had set i.e. weight loss.  She called me back and told me that we would discuss it more at the appointment on Monday.  It was a good thing I had called because she had never told me when the next appointment was and I would HATE to miss it (she was really mean when we were just late).

Chris and I got to the appointment and I was really worried that all the hard work I’ve done as far as weight loss, would not be enough to have the surgery to find out what is wrong.

She weighed me first and having lost enough to get my BMI under the “danger” level (even if it was only by 1.0), Fiona said that Mr. R would “probably” do the surgery for me.

She asked me and Chris a lot of questions about our medical past, to see if there was anything that might put up a red flag – there wasn't.

She then turned to us and said, “You could have the lap and dye.”  Now, I realize that reading that it makes perfect sense and doesn't instil fear at all – but imagine hearing it, “You could have the lap and DIE.”  It took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about.  The Lap and Dye is where they put a probe into your belly button (or as they call it here, tummy button) and look around.  They look for endometriosis or any problem causing fibroids or cysts and then they inject the fallopian tubes with dye to see if they are blocked or not.  Here in England it is a day surgery and the person only stays at the hospital if they have any problems. 

Fiona told us that couples usually have a high fertility rate for the first 3 years in a relationship – after those three years the rate drops dramatically.  Since “officially” Chris and I have been TTC for 2.7 years we still have a few months left.  She told us that I was at a weight where it was “okay” to try again, but I am a bit torn about that.  I have worked so hard to loose the weight I have, and I just want to be a bit more healthy before I have a baby.  Plus the timing is all off…  if I were to get pregnant in the near future that would leave me heavily pregnant when my VISA for England runs out – I couldn't fly anywhere and if I got to the USA I wouldn't have any health insurance at all for when I was ready to deliver.  So, it is still going to be on hold for a bit longer.

Fiona then told us that if they go in and do the lap and dye and they find that the tubes are blocked then our only option at that point would be IVF.  She said they used to do a surgery to un-block the tubes but IVF has a lot higher success rates and is not a surgery, like the “tube un-blocking” would be.

At this point we have an appointment again in 2 weeks to discuss the procedure.

I am so pleased that things seem to be moving along – finally, some answers for us… and we are ready for them (as ready as possible), whatever they might be.

Weight Loss Goals – A Public Record

When my friend, Kim emailed to give me tips for her weight loss success, she advised me to make some goals – so because she is so wise, I think I will….
Short Term:
To be able to wear my wedding ring again.
To have people NOTICE that I have lost weight.
To go to a “regular” store and pick something out.
To shop at charity stores and find more that HUGE, floral dresses in my size.
To get back to my marriage weight (eventually falling below it).
Long Term:
To be healthy enough to have a healthy baby.
To jog.
To get to a “normal” BMI for my height.
Go on a bike ride with my dad – and keep up.
I have also taken Kim’s advice in rewarding myself and, the next reward planned (and the first) is going to see a show down in London. I decided I would do that when I lost 20 lbs. and as of today… I think I should start looking up ticket prices - because I am nearly there!

A Reminder

There is a baby store right on the high street in front of my apartment.  I always walk past, tempted to walk in, but decide against it because I don't need to “rub salt into the wound”.   It doesn't stop me from looking in the windows.  Lately I have been trying to loose weight to get to a place where I can get surgery to find out what is going on.  I needed motivation – not just mental motivation but visual motivation.  I thought about buying a baby outfit and putting it somewhere where I could see it – but decided against it, so as not to look like a crazy if I forget to put it away and we have guests.  The other day while looking into the window of the baby store I saw this statue.  I needed it – it was a visual reminder of what I was trying for.  I have put it on the TV (so I can see it when I exercise).  It is lovely and hopefully one day, we can put it in a baby’s nursery.

Step One… Done! Next….

Hello everyone!!!  It has been a while since I have written.  I have had quite a hard week (or two).  I am struggling to follow my new “healthy lifestyle” (I refuse to call it a diet).  It is sooooo easy to get discouraged!!  I also went to a friends going away party on Saturday.  She is an American and her husband is English and she went through the same process we are going through.  She gets to go home this month and I am jealous!
We did get good news today.  Chris and I filed his paperwork for the VISA a few weeks ago.  On the website it says that the wait time for that to be approved is over a month.  Chris and I were expecting that and were very surprised when, in the post today, we got the letter saying it was received on the 18th of Aug. and was approved on the 25th.  What a blessing! 
Our next steps are to fill out more paperwork and schedule a medical appointment in London (oh yeah, and to save up all the money needed). 
Chris and I are doing everything we can to save up the money.  We are selling bits and pieces we don't “need” and trying to think of ways to save.  It is going to be a struggle but so worth it!
I try not to think about “when I get home” because I don't want to work myself up about it.  I am having some strange feelings about leaving England.  I am going to miss it.  I keep thinking, “I need to do __________ because it is our last summer living here….” etc.  I want to try to see as much as I can before we leave. 
I guess at this point we go with the flow.  I can say that I cannot wait for the support of friends and family.  I do have a few select friends here in England but, cant wait to see everyone.  I guess I just have to keep that in my mind when I have bad weeks like this last one.
So does anyone out there have any amazing ideas on how to earn money???  Do tell…

I Love Richard Simmons!

I hate to fill my blog with weight loss stories and news but, to be honest, I don't have much else to write about (not that I am complaining).
It has been 2 1/2 weeks since I SERIOUSLY started to eat healthier and try to incorporate exercise into my life.  I use the word “try” because there is little I like less than exercising. 
In my mind I have lots of goals associated with becoming healthier, and not just every 20 lbs. a ticket for myself to a musical, some of which are:  loose enough to safely have a child, go on a bike ride with my incredibly fit dad (and now friend, Kim), go jogging – for fun, shop at “regular” stores/thrift stores, etc….
Years ago when I first came to England for a friends wedding I lost 20+ lbs in preparation for it.  It was a good time, I felt GREAT and I was very proud of myself.
Since I have moved to England I have gained a lot of weight.  I know the thing I SHOULD say is that the motivation to start working on this was the drive to have a baby, but it wasn't… the real motivation was an email that a sweet friend sent me.  The day I got that email I started exercising.  Today, when I was feeling like I didn't care about it any more – I read that email and it made me want to work.
I don't think I will ever share how much I’ve lost on a public site like this (I cant handle the pressure) but suffice to say I was so pleased with the number on the scale last week – I actually started thinking that this whole, being healthy and fit thing, might be attainable.
But I still struggle with exercise – I hate it.  Well, most of it.  I love, LOVE my Richard Simmons DVD’s.  I know there are a lot of people that cant stand him but he makes me happy to exercise.   He says things like, “I am so proud of you!”, “You are doing so well!” and my all time favourite “You shined today!!”.  Today as I was exercising I found myself smiling and really enjoying myself.  I am pleased that I have found something that I can cope with.
I continue to use Sparkpeople.com and although at first it was quite overwhelming – it has been amazing for me and I find new recipes and motivation every day.  It does take time – tracking calories, all the food I eat, and all the exercise I do – but I have found it is worth it. 
I still cant see any results – but as long as the scale numbers keep going down… I’ll trust that it’s working!

Its My Choice

Recently I have been hearing so much about the new Health Care plan in the US.  I have held my tongue and not written anything about it on my public blog for fear of the repercussions.  But, while I do agree with a need for basic health care for all, I really struggle with a Nationalized Health Care.  Let me explain why.

It has been over a year now that Chris and I have been seeing “doctors” about our issues and the run around we have had, I wouldn't wish on anyone.  All you have to do is read this blog and you’ll know what problems I’ve had – and it gets FRUSTRATING!

The other day I was going about my business and the next I was bent over in pain.  I knew I was ovulating and I often get cramps for a few days at that time (I know lucky me cramps twice a month) but this wasn't “usual” pain, this was cant breath, cant stand, feel sick pain.  I got into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed – not being able to move from the fetal position (ironic I know).  I laid there and thought – childbirth CANNOT be worse than this.  I was shaking and crying and finally decided to ask Chris to call the NHS call centre where they have you speak to a nurse and tell you where to go from there.  At this point I was very concerned that one of the lovely cysts had burst.  I spoke to the nurse and she said just to “take some pain killers”.  So I did – eventually the pain subsided.

Then I started to cry again – not from the pain but from the unfairness of it all.  If I weighed even 10-20 lbs. and walked into the nurses office for my fertility appointment – I would now be on a waiting list for surgery because according the the NHS “it would be worth it and cost effective”. 

You see the NHS doesn't do ANYTHING that costs them more money than it could.  If that means women giving birth in their regular PJ’s and sending them home before they're ready, limiting appointments to 10 minutes, using out dated equipment, having nurses do a doctors work, etc. then the do it.  It is all about money. 

I am a woman who is at the mercy of the NHS – they get to decide WHEN or IF I get to be a mother.  They have decided that even though I experience horrible pain for nearly 2 weeks of the month – I get to suffer because I am not skinny.

I understand that there are risks on operating on a bigger person – I get that – but let ME choose, let me evaluate the risks.

There are many things I cant fault the NHS for, in terms of my basic care – and it is nice not to think about how I am going to pay for things.  But in the back of my mind I cant help by think that maybe, just maybe if I were in America I’d have a baby in my arms or at the very least be pain free while trying to get there. 

My Life in a Bullet List

I know it has been quite a while since I have updated my blog.  I guess that all those pictures pushed me over the edge, but to be more honest – nothing much of note has happened as of late – so this post will be reduced to bullet points.

*  MOST IMPORTANT – Chris and I have gotten everything in order to apply for his VISA.  Mine runs out on the 23rd of July 2010 so I will be home by then.  I cant wait.  It is making things a bit easier to deal with knowing there is an end in sight!  We’ll need prayers, happy thoughts, etc. sent our way for the next little while as the process progresses – hopefully without incident.  I will update as things happen.  In the meantime if you hear of jobs, cars, household supplies, etc. keep us in mind. 
*  Issues (to say the least) with the in-laws, I wont type much because I don't want to make anything worse (if it could be).  I really envy people who have great relationships with their in-laws.  It has also put me on a crash course of FINALLY realizing that no matter how hard I try, and believe me I’ve tried, I cant please everyone.
*  I quit my job.  I was hired with a promise of 10 hours a week and after 3 weeks of no hours at all, late pay, snide comments, and cleaning duty – not to mention migraines from the stress AND babies crying because I became a “stranger” from my lack of hours – Chris did my dirty work.  He went into the centre, asked for my passport, and then handed them my letter – and I haven't heard from them OR looked back since.  Now I just need to find something else – hopefully something I am more suited to.
*  Chris is still hard at work, doing TONS of extra hours so we can start saving for Utah.  What a hard worker!
*  I went for my fertility appointment last week and was told that I need to loose weight so last Monday, Chris and I started watching what we’re eating.  It hasn't been easy and it involved me cooking a lot more, but hopefully it will work.  I am using a great website called http://www.sparkpeople.com/  It is GREAT and soooo helpful – I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to track and loose weight.  Now if I can just get the motivation to work out…  P.S.  If you’d like an invite to my fertility blog – just let me know!
*  I have a bit of a writing bug coming on.  All my life I’ve wanted to write a book and finally I think I have some really good ideas sloshing around in my head.  I just hope I can make sense of them and turn them into something worth while.

So that is my life in a nutshell.  Nothing to exciting, but changes in the works.  Have a great week everyone!!!