In Conclusion…

We finally reached his car and again we went through the whole, almost losing a limb portion of the date. By now there were crowds of people around his car because we got there so early, and they were just talking and laughing and standing in the way of my sanity! He got in. Sat down and didn’t turn on the car.

“Do you want to say it or do you want me to say it?”

Oh my gosh! This wasn’t happening! We said one prayer already! Did we really need two!?!? Where the comics sooooooooo “off color” that we needed this prayer. He wasn’t going to say it again, I knew it, it was my turn. My turn to pray in front of the crowds of people. My turn to pray for something! What? That I could get home SOON? That Ed might loose my number? That I might wake up from this nightmare?

“Ehhh, alright, okay.’

And then I prayed. It was the shortest, fastest, and sadly enough, most insincere prayer I have ever offered. Ever. He looked at me when I was done and patted my leg. He started the car and backed up nearly hitting several people in the process.

We got onto the freeway and I said to him,

“So got any big plans for the weekend?”

Big mistake!

“Well, tomorrow I am going to get arrested. I am going to go to a few schools and take some pictures of some kids for a friend. It is illegal so I’ll have to sneak about it and if I get caught I’ll get arrested.”

What kind of a freaky answer is that??? I don’t think any amount of praying before, after, or during that little escapade was going to help him. Not wanting to know more I sat quietly in the car.

“I’ll have to take my gun.”

Great. I was driving down the freeway at 55 MPH with a man who the very next day was going to go take pictures of children, hidden from anyone, with a gun. Great.

“You know I was engaged two times?”

Did I want to hear this? Was this a confession? When people were telling me about Ed someone had mentioned in passing that he had killed the two people he was engaged to. I thought they were making a joke. I’m going to die tonight.

“Yeah the first one, we just didn’t know each other well enough. The second one wrote me for a while on the internet. We decided to meet up and she kept putting me off. Finally, I knew something was wrong and did some detective work and found out she was 60.”

5 more miles. 5 more miles. Say something.....

“Oh Ed, I’m sorry.”

There. I am nice, I care now let me out. We were now in front of my apartment complex but he didn’t stop. Nope he drove right past to the rail road tracks. About 2 houses away from my apartment. He stopped. Locked the doors, turned off the car and looked at me.

“Have you ever been in love before?”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Where is my cell phone 911 911 911 911. I answer,

“No, I haven’t, I mean I don’t think so.”

His hopeful eyes suddenly looked defeated.

“Oh, okay. Well I had a good time Jamie. I’ll call you again. Lets go out this weekend.”

NO! I was on the verge of being killed by my date, on the railroad tracks. I would have to say my words carefully.

“Awww Ed. Thanks. I am busy for a while with work and stuff you understand right? Hey, though thanks for the evening.”

By now the doors were unlocked, and the creepiness was out of his eyes, mostly. I just wanted to go home but what happened to dropping a girl off at her place. I know it would be best for a Ed to walk me to my door but at this point I think I felt safer knowing he wasn’t. The least he could have done was reverse his car to my place. I could tell he wasn’t going to. I would have to walk down the hill, in the mud down the sidewalk, to my apartment door. He turned back on the car. I took that as my cue to get out. I got out.

“Thanks again.”

“Hey, Jamie?”

I thought that maybe he was going to walk me to my door. I guess that wouldn’t be so bad. I mean after what just happened, that was cake. At least there would be more witnesses by the apartment if he was going to try anything.

“Jamie, can I borrow your cell phone?”

What?!!? Here I am out of the car ready to shut the door on this night of my life and now he wants to use my minutes?? My cell phone?? My time??

“Sure!”

I handed him the phone. He had to call his sister to go over to her house. He handed me back my phone. I start to put it back in my purse and search for my keys. Just as I got to shut the door, it barely closes and he speeds off like his in a race. I watch as his taillights go down the street and then I head back towards my house.

I get inside and immediately call my friend in New York and then my friend in West Valley and then my mom. I shouldn’t have told the people at work I had a date. The next morning I would have to go back and tell them the story. But I guess that is what I get for, what did I say at first?

…I had decided with my horrible, awful luck with men that maybe - just maybe it was the “type” of man I was dating. So I had decided against all of my better judgment and all of my friends judgment to go out with him.