The Waiting Game... Not Such A Fun Game.

Hello! I know it has been a while since I wrote, and I don't have an excuse for it except that I've had a very hard few weeks.

I thought an update would be in order.

We took the sample in Friday the 20th with no incident (even had time to stop at McDonalds). I kept it in my pocket, as suggested, to keep it warm and once we got to the hospital I thought we'd be in for a wait because we had to make an appointment (and its the NHS). Chris' sister came in with us so she didn't have to wait in the car. After trekking to the other end of the hospital we came to the Pathology Department window, the man took the sample from us, shook it around a bit, asked us some slightly personal questions (keeping in mind Chris' sister was there so we were trying to be as discreet as possible), and then said, "okay you'll have the results in about 3 weeks!" We said thank you and went home.

I guess at the first of this process I would have been very impatient about the results, but this time I haven't even noticed the wait. Yesterday I said to Chris, "Why don't you call the hospital at the off chance that the sample results are in." He did and we were told to call our regular doctor.

Chris called the office and the receptionist answered the phone. Usually, when there are test results the doctor gets them and then types on the screen what to tell the patient the results are. Surprisingly when Chris called the test results were in (shocking!) but the receptionist said she couldn't tell us the results and we'd have to make an appointment with the regular doctor to discuss things further.

Suddenly my complacency turned to anxiety with questions shooting through my mind about why the doctor needed to talk to us. The way the surgery (doctors office) works here is if we want an appointment with the doctor pre-bookable appointments are usually a 2 week wait, but they leave several appointments available each day at first come first serve - you have to call right at 8:00 in the morning and hope there are places left, so that is what we have to do for Monday.

Last night I said to Chris, "are you worried about the results?" he said, "no, they are what they are - no use worrying about them, nothing you can do." Do I wish he was a little more passionate about it? Yes! Do I wish he was kept up at night with thoughts of the future like I am? Yes! But, am I so grateful that I have a husband who can stay calm and inject a sense of sanity into the situation? YES!

I know he's right - whatever the test results are, they are - no use worrying. We'll do what we can with the information given... says my rational mind...

But my louder, emotional mind is shouting at me, "This could put an end to your hopes!" and I cant get it to be quiet!