Frustration

Boy! Chris doesn't write much on this web site, so you know when he does we are BOTH incredibly frustrated! I love when he writes something so that everyone knows that I am not dealing with this alone, and I am lucky enough to have a husband who is as passionate about it as me.

I realize on a daily basis as I read other women's blogs about all different kinds of infertility that I am not alone in my frustration. Some women take the words right out of my mouth as they post, some are so faithful and patient, and yet, we are all the same despite how we handle it - we are all frustrated.

Today I got out some pamphlets on adoption from the local council. Here in England if you go through the council you don't have to pay for adoption, in fact, you receive benefits for adopting. I was reading through the qualifications for adopting and found the following:

* You must be over 21 - check
* You need to be in reasonably good health - check
* A two year age gap between them and the other children at the home - check! No other kids to speak of!
* Live within one hour of Huntingdon or Cambridge - check (unfortunately)
* If you have been involved in infertility investigations or treatment, we would expect these to have been completed BEFORE any assessment was started - uhhhhhh what?!?!?

So in order to give a child a loving home out of the social services system you can be anyone who is in good health and over 21 EXCEPT someone who is struggling with infertility! Does this sound completely backwards to anyone else???

Then get this, it then reads:

Some criminal offences might prevent you from becoming an adoptive parent for example, if you have ever been convicted of a sexual, a violent act or any offence against a minor you man not be able to adopt. However, we are prepared to look at individual circumstances to establish if we can progress your interest further.

WHAT!?!?!? So even if you have been convicted of the above offenses YOU COULD STILL adopt - but if you are dealing with infertility - sorry!

Somehow it all seems twisted around - shouldn't those who are desperately trying for babies have first dibs?? Instead of a family fully able to have their own children, single, disabled, same sex, or unemployed??? Those are all people who can adopt - and although I have absolutely nothing against any of those groups adopting - shouldn't somewhere in the list be me?

I know adoption seems, to us, to be a far away option - but it would be nice to know it is an option - but unfortunately, here in England as far as adoption goes - people struggling with infertility are the only ones discriminated against.