The End of My Rope

I feel like I have no good news to ever put on this blog...

Today Chris woke up at 8:00 and started calling the doctors office. He tried for 25 minutes without getting through and when he finally did get a person and not a busy signal - all of Dr. M's appointments were full for the day.

We were told to call again tomorrow morning. Chris just asked if Dr. M could call him and tell him the test results. The receptionist said yes, she'd have her call at the end of her morning appointments. 1:00 came around and we still hadn't had a call and so Chris called again. The receptionist said she'd have Dr. M call "in a minute" so we waited.... and waited.... and about 45 minutes later Dr. M called.

Chris answered it and asked for his results. She said she didn't understand them so I need to call Mr. R (the fertility specialist) to get the results. Chris asked if she had made me an appointment with Mr. R and she said no, I'd have to call and speak to the secretary.

So I called Mr. R, knowing he had no idea who I was since he's never worked with me before. I was told I couldn't talk to him I needed to talk to his secretary. I called her and she is on holiday until tomorrow.

Once I finally get a hold of her, I am sure I wont get the results over the phone, I'll have to get an appointment which is usually about a months wait - and that is positive thinking (even though I was told that since we were working through Peterborough and not Kings Lynn it should be faster, I wont hold my breath).

It is becoming increasingly frustrating. I keep hoping for that "light at the end of the tunnel" but cant seem to get to it.

At this point I just want some answers - What is wrong with me physically? Is something wrong with Chris? Can I get pregnant? Is it something that can be fixed? Something that cant? I just want to know. I know that the answers to some of those questions might be the end of some of our options, but at least we'd know. Whats more than that, the pain associated with the cysts is something I want taken care of, baby or not... the pain is unbearable at times.

You would think I would be getting quite good at waiting to get this sorted but, we started on this whole journey with the NHS almost a year ago and I am just sick of waiting.