Hello Internet. I am sitting here doing nothing so I thought I should do something productive... in truth, I have a Relief Society lesson that still needs to be done, a bathroom that won't clean itself - no matter how long I leave it in those hopes, and dinner to be fixed. But, I don't feel like doing any of that.
I am in a bad mood - one of those don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't breath near me moods. Why? Well I don't know really. It has been a long week and I am sure that has contributed to it.
I consider myself a nice person. I try to do what I am asked and I struggle when I cant keep those commitments, which I have learned, makes me a perfect candidate for high stress church callings. I have a chronic case of "cant say no" syndrome which makes things a little hard to deal with at times, but most of the time I don't mind saying "YES!" I have a personality trait - or secret radar that seems to attract people who tend to take advantage of me or more often lie to me. I don't know what it is, but it seems I can find those people in any group - or should I say they find me.
I think when I was younger I was always in charge. It was my way or nothing - ask my long-suffering childhood friends. But it seemed like the older I got the less like that I was, around some people. I was always trying to please everyone, adults, church leaders, parents, teachers, older friends, etc. And somewhere in that switch from having the confidence to tell people what I wanted it became easier for them to tell me instead.
Do I blame anyone? Yes and No - I guess when you are trying to make certain crushes like you, and are willing to do whatever they want and even worse they encourage and accept that you become a floor mat then you can lay some blame with them.
I remember when I took an abuse class at the YWCA, although I don't remember too much, my mentor told me - YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. This was a light bulb moment for me - you mean every time I say no and feel horrible isn't a natural feeling?
I think my life is filled with guilt because of things I cant do. This week I had a severe chest infection - and it was a feat of strength to..... breathe? Yes, but that wasn't what was hardest, the hardest thing was to call in sick to work, because I didn't want them to be mad at me. And it goes on and on like that - today the missionaries in our area wanted to come to our house to plan for the week because the landlord was working on the house they are staying - me, cant say no - says sure and they are here at our apartment from 11:00 - 4:30. While I sit in my room just waiting. I could go on and on...
I understand that I can do something to change the problems I have with this - I can just say no! That is definitely something to work on... but here is the thing, that I feel goes hand in hand but that I cant help..
People lie to me. Straight out lie. Why is that? It is quite rude actually and a personal attack on my intelligence. I wont go into details - wouldn't want call anyone out ;) but, I am wondering how I can change this....
Does anyone else have these problems or HAD these problems? Any advice?? Or, I know, what is it about me that attracts these people?
I am in a bad mood - one of those don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't breath near me moods. Why? Well I don't know really. It has been a long week and I am sure that has contributed to it.
I consider myself a nice person. I try to do what I am asked and I struggle when I cant keep those commitments, which I have learned, makes me a perfect candidate for high stress church callings. I have a chronic case of "cant say no" syndrome which makes things a little hard to deal with at times, but most of the time I don't mind saying "YES!" I have a personality trait - or secret radar that seems to attract people who tend to take advantage of me or more often lie to me. I don't know what it is, but it seems I can find those people in any group - or should I say they find me.
I think when I was younger I was always in charge. It was my way or nothing - ask my long-suffering childhood friends. But it seemed like the older I got the less like that I was, around some people. I was always trying to please everyone, adults, church leaders, parents, teachers, older friends, etc. And somewhere in that switch from having the confidence to tell people what I wanted it became easier for them to tell me instead.
Do I blame anyone? Yes and No - I guess when you are trying to make certain crushes like you, and are willing to do whatever they want and even worse they encourage and accept that you become a floor mat then you can lay some blame with them.
I remember when I took an abuse class at the YWCA, although I don't remember too much, my mentor told me - YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO AND NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. This was a light bulb moment for me - you mean every time I say no and feel horrible isn't a natural feeling?
I think my life is filled with guilt because of things I cant do. This week I had a severe chest infection - and it was a feat of strength to..... breathe? Yes, but that wasn't what was hardest, the hardest thing was to call in sick to work, because I didn't want them to be mad at me. And it goes on and on like that - today the missionaries in our area wanted to come to our house to plan for the week because the landlord was working on the house they are staying - me, cant say no - says sure and they are here at our apartment from 11:00 - 4:30. While I sit in my room just waiting. I could go on and on...
I understand that I can do something to change the problems I have with this - I can just say no! That is definitely something to work on... but here is the thing, that I feel goes hand in hand but that I cant help..
People lie to me. Straight out lie. Why is that? It is quite rude actually and a personal attack on my intelligence. I wont go into details - wouldn't want call anyone out ;) but, I am wondering how I can change this....
Does anyone else have these problems or HAD these problems? Any advice?? Or, I know, what is it about me that attracts these people?
3 comments:
Hey Jamie,
I think that you can\'t avoid people who lie or take advantage. They are everywhere! The most important thing to do with these kind of people, after you discover them, is to promptly say GOODBYE! Tell them that you know what they are doing and that you won\'t put up with it. Then burn their phone number, block their email and tell them to never contact you again.....ever. This way, you will sort through the "weeds" and only be surrounded by people who never take advantage and always tell the truth. Your body language can also communicate to people what you will and will not accept. Pull your shoulders back when you stand. Make people see that "I am not one to be lied to or taken advantage of!" The exclamation point is very important.
Now tell me how it goes. I could be dead wrong.
Jamie. I agree with Rachel that you can\'t avoid these kind of people. Some people are so hard to deal with sometimes. I\'m sorry that you have to deal with people like that. It just goes to show what kind of world we live in. It\'s tough. Just keep being you!! - I don\'t remember anything about that Child Care class either. That\'s what made me laugh at it :) I figured you\'d get a kick out of it too! I\'m glad we\'ve been friends for as long as we have. Would you mind sending me your email address? I hope you guys are doing well. I hope you start feeling better soon.
Jamie,
Hey cute friend, I wish I knew what to say to make all of this go away for you. I am so sorry you are dealing with these kind of people. It breaks my heart because you are such a wonderful and caring person, actually it a quality that have always admired about you. But you can\'t let people run all over you! (like me, I do remember when we were young bossing you around and telling you what barbies etc. we were going to play with LOL!!!) Being nice and letting people take advantage of you are totally different. It is the hardest thing you will ever have to do but you have to say no! I know it is a lot easier said than done. Hang in there! I love you and hope that you can figure out what to do to solve this problem without leaving you feeling quilty like you have done something wrong.
LOVE YA,
Amanda
P.S. I would love to read your read only story if you wouldn\'t mind.
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