Tuesday, 11 January 2011

New Year, New Entry

Well hello!  Does it seems like ages since I’ve written?  It has been!  While I was in America I was told by several people to update my blog so I am going to try to update it every week (fingers crossed!)
Since I have so much to catch up on, you get lists again (thanks Abbie) – Maybe some pictures added in for good measure?
Good Things:
*  Hugging my mom and dad and spending time with them.
*  Seeing my brother and sisters (even though we didn’t do a family picture!!)
*  Seeing friends – its been three years and yet it feels like we never skipped a beat.
* A trip to St. George to visit my amazing Grandpa and Grandma.
*  Seeing the mountains and snow!
*  Good food (yes, I did gain weight – why do you ask?!?!)
*   A great girls night with a stay downtown, the Marriott and TONS of laughing.
*  “Friend Christmas Brunch” – its been a long time since I got to attend.
*  Blending right back into my old ward – such good people.
*  Sophie the cat!
*  An extra seat on the way from Texas to London.
Bad Things:
*  Coming home??
*  Falling in Fashion Bug (my knee still hurts!!)
*  Inversion Smile with tongue out (although on the day I left I consider it a “Tiny Mercy” to not have to see the mountains in the distance)
*  The plane ride to Utah (can we say “sardine can”?)
It was such a good trip.  I was not at all prepared for how hard it would be to come back to England.   Now my mind is REALLY messed up as to where home is – am I homeless?
One way that me and my friends are going to keep in contact is taking a picture at the same time once a week and posting it on our new blog:
http://uktotheusa.blogspot.com/
And here are the pictures -
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Sophie the Cat (subject of many pictures)
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The snow in the front yard.
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Christmas Tree
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Snow in the backyard
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My beautiful sisters.
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More Snow…..
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Chris’ picture from Farmington Canyon
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Temple Square after the Devotional
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The Conference Centre ready for the concert
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Jamie - 11/01/11 - 16:00

I was babysitting.  Here we are sitting at the kitchen table eating grapes, tomatoes, and chocolate spread sandwhich.  The kids wanted to be in the picture too!

Friday, 13 August 2010

Bullet Points - At Least its a Post Right??

Hello Internet. I have been banished to the bedroom while Chris has a bit of a "Lads Night" playing video games, eating questionable fast food, and generally acting like grown up little boys. Because of that I cant upload any pictures at the moment, but I thought I would just update what is going on.

* I AM COMING TO AMERICA!!!! I cant wait. Chris found a great deal on flights and as a birthday present bought them. What's even better is that we will be there from November 24th - January 5th. I have missed my family and friends soooo much and cant wait to spend time with the people who really matter in my life. Living away from home, you really realize who your REAL friends are. I have come to realize that it doesn't matter the amount of phone calls (3 from friends in 4 years - not that I'm counting ;)), the amount of cards, letters, or emails - but it is the intent. I might get 1 email from a friend in a year, but from that email - I know I matter to them. What do they say? It isn't about quantity its about quality. :) At any rate, I am really looking forward to spending time with good friends.

* I got my VISA to stay in the UK. I never have to apply again! What a huge weight off my shoulders with that sorted out. Next we have to think about Chris' to America, but for me, I am an official resident of the UK - which entitles me to all the benefits of a citizen. FINALLY!!

* In keeping with taking advantage of the benefits of being a resident here - I am starting school. I am only taking one class but it is a distance learning type thing and the class is a pretty hard one. I cant wait to get started. Chris is going to take a class as well (not the same as mine, that means I cant cheat - darn it!).

* Have I ever mentioned how proud I am of Chris. He is quite open about his battle with depression and has struggled quite badly since Feb. He is doing so much better and is becoming a real champion for better care for those with mental health issues (especially men, who are often too ashamed to admit it). If you know someone who suffers from a mental illness, or are interested on Chris' progress you can read his blog at: http://www.theflattleys.co.uk/cmh

* We got a new car. We finally got the money together and bought a newer car than we've ever had. It felt like sheer luxury, until today the "check engine" light came on. I am not happy at all. We've not even had it a month. We don't know what to do next, but with the money we put into it - we definitely shouldn't have problems all ready!

* I am back on the weight loss wagon. After my surgery I was thrown off, but finally feel good enough to start again. I want to be in better shape than I ever have been for my birthday. I will update on here - if you have tips or motivation feel free to comment - I need all the motivation I can get - sure hate exercising!!!! Maybe I should do a regular feature - Jamie's progress on trying to not hate exercising! Would you read it??

Well that is about all that is going here for me in England. I have pictures by the dozen to update the blog with (I need that motivation once again).

Well I can still hear shouting from the other room from the boys - but I can also hear the quite whisper of my bed. So its, nighty night for me!

An Update and a Bit of a Vent

Hello Dear Friends. Are you still even checking this blog? Well, maybe this will just be for me and Chris (possibly the only 2 still reading).

There are a few reasons I haven't updated lately. One of the main ones is because there isn't too much to update on - we are in a limbo of sorts and so, stuck in this holding pattern, there aren't many changes.

As far as my healing and recovery go - things are back to normal for the most part. The incision has completely healed and has left a LONG scar along my tummy, but the width of the scar is like a line drawn with a pencil. The surgeon was very good at cleaning up his mess! I am not having any side effects anymore and am back to full activity. Sometimes I find it really hard to believe that is was only a few short months ago that I was so poorly, but I count my blessings that as bad as it was then, I am completely better now.

Along with the happiness of the full healing process, comes the complete frustration that nothing has changed at all. You'd think without one ovary, I'd have a least half of the cramps - but nope - they are still as bad as ever. I was under the impression that getting the Endo taken care of, it would solve those issues as well, but my doctor has informed me that, that is not the case at all. It is very frustrating! It usually brings me to tears every month thinking not only am I not getting pregnant, but I still have to suffer - so what was the surgery for anyway?!?!

As of now Chris and I are under instruction from the Consultant, Dr. R, to keep trying and see what happens. If nothing happens by Feb. then it is back to the Dr. M (the GP) to get a new referral to see Dr. R again - and move on from there.

Most of the time I am okay with the way things are headed with infertility. Most of the time I feel okay with the prospect that kids might not be in the picture. With so many other stresses in my life at the moment, I am ashamed to say, sometimes the infertility is the least of my worries. But then, of course, there are times where the pain of what I am going through cuts like a knife. I have eliminated most of my friends on Facebook that constantly complain about their kids (don't worry no one reading this is one of them) and now have taken to even hiding people who are constantly posting quotes or status updates about how "you've never known love until you're a mother." I know, I know it is a bit petty, but for me, it is what I have to do. It makes me feel like less of a wife, daughter, sister, and woman thinking to myself, "I must not love as much as I am capable because I don't have children."

As for life in general I am trying to put me first. It isn't easy at all. I am trying to get rid of the things in my life that cause me unneeded stress and heartache. This has, of course, made me re-evaluate a lot of things. Just the other day, a "friend" got me so sad that I had to stop myself and made a decision to eliminate that person from my thinking and life, for now.

I think of all that I have gone through in the last 3 years with regards to fertility and sometimes I am amazed at what Chris and I have dealt with and come through - and other times I am so saddened by the lack of support from family, friends and even strangers. I had a friend who came all the way from Utah to England and couldn't even pick up a phone to call me while she was here. Recently one of Chris' friends (who added me on Facebook) made me crack. She had a miscarriage and had fallen pregnant with her 2nd child very soon after. She complained 10+ times a day about how horrible pregnancy was and, "WHY did I do this to myself!!!!" When she had a very healthy baby she continued complaining about the baby - even going so far as to say, she hated him. I finally broke down and wrote to her (very nicely - not wanting to cause problems or hurt feelings) that, "I know how hard newborns can be, but maybe she should look at the positive - and remember there are women out there that would love to deal with what she was dealing with." I was then attacked by her and her friends because I said it and must not have any idea what she was going through because of my "unfortunate situation". My friends on Facebook who read my updates know more than my In-Laws (because they never ask) and the other day I signed up for a LDS infertility support group and, because I am not in Utah, no one has even bothered to say anything to me (but have to everyone else who has signed up at the same time). I cant wait to get home to Utah and spend some time with the people who HAVE supported me. Sometimes it just all gets on top of me.

I think what it comes down to is, I think about my infertility on a daily basis, and I suppose it affects me more than I think it does. But it is a process - I know of women who have been trying for 10+ years and still have sadness over it. I guess it is a matter of clearing my life of the things that don't make me happy and filling it with things that will fulfill me - no matter what happens with the infertility. I just keep praying I can deal with it - and not let it ruin me.

Monday, 19 July 2010

Working Holiday or Holiday Working?

I know this post is long overdue.  There is so much to write about and so many pictures (oh SO many pictures), I fear, you might be bored by the end of the post.  Oh well, if you find your mind wandering off or your eyes closing while reading – just close the page – I wont be offended.
On the 28th of June I got a phone call from a family who had gotten my name from an agency I was signed up to do temporary work with.  The Mum said they were going on holiday and was wondering if I was free for the week.  She wasn't sure what day she was leaving or where they were going.  I told her I would call her back.  The next day I got a phone call that said they would be going to an island off the coast of Spain and could I come?  She offered me more money that I had suggested and I said, (without thinking), YES!  She told me we would be leaving the next day (Wed) and that their PA would get in touch with me with all the details.
As I calmed down from the initial excitement I realized that I didn't know how old the child was, what the parents were like, or any other details.  I was taking a big chance – and as the time got closer and closer I got more and more nervous.
Wednesday I left here about 7:30 in the morning to get to the airport in London.  3 trains and 1 tube later I arrived in once piece (but was still VERY nervous).  I got a call at the airport saying the family was there and where to meet them.
I was put at ease right away when I met them.  They were a young, fun couple with the cutest baby ever (20 months old).  They told me, as I waited, that the Villa we would be staying at was in Mallorca, Spain and that we’d have a personal chef while we were there.  I started to realize that this wouldn't be a “normal” holiday.
We were met at the airport by one of the staff that had a small cooler filled with chilled water, fruit, and fruit bars.  We followed her to the Villa.  I was struck by the beautiful mountains on the island – I don't know what I expected, but not mountains.  It was absolutely stunning – and absolutely HOT.
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As we pulled up to the Villa, “D” our chef, and “T” our house manager were waiting outside the front door to greet us.  They brought my bags in and showed me up to my room – asking if it was “acceptable” – uhhhhh yeah?!?!?!
DSCF4894Here is the bathrobe and slippers that were in my closet. DSCF4895Here is my bed (MASSIVE) and very comfortable.  The room was air conditioned and very big. DSCF4897This was the view from my window.  The two palm trees.DSCF4898The first night I came up to bed to read my book and found that the cleaners had stuck bookmarks in all of my books – just an added touch.
I forgot most of the trip that I was actually working.  The baby’s bedroom was right next to mine and I had a baby monitor.  I was to get up with him in the mornings (around 7), feed him breakfast, play with him, keep him out of the sun from 11 – 4, feed him lunch, put him down for a nap, play with him some more,  feed him dinner (I didn't have to prepare the meals – the chef did that), play with him, bathe him, and put him to bed.  He was by far one of the most pleasant children I have ever watched and had such a cute personality – even on the day he woke me up at 5:30 – he was a joy.  The worst thing that I had to deal with was the weather.  His parents were so involved that they were always around to play with him, swim with him, or help with meals.
Here are some of the views:
DSCF4900 Looking out of my bedroom to the landing.DSCF4901Looking down from my bedroom to the entry way – notice the basket it was full of all kinds of drinks when we first arrived. DSCF4902Looking down to the entry way. DSCF4903 Looking out of the large window to the front of the Villa.
Here are some pictures from the rest of the Villa;
DSCF4909The Master Bedroom – it also had a HUGE walk in closet and huge bathroom. DSCF4911Inside dining table (always with a bowl full of fresh fruit), we didn't use it at all – we always ate outside. DSCF4912 The Kitchen where “D” worked her magic.  I didn't spend much time in here at all (it was so nice!)DSCF4913The table where we had all of our meals. DSCF4914The sitting room – we didn't spend much time here either. DSCF4918The beds outside on the patio. DSCF4919The couches outside were we’d sit and chat and eat.
One of the best parts of the house was a “Kids Room” where there were toys, TV, arts and crafts, and books.  It was such a good thing to have (I don't know what I would have done without it).  I later found out that a nanny is included in the price of the Villa – but she didn't live-in so she wouldn't be there in the mornings with the baby.
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Every morning when it was just me and the baby, we’d walk up and down the long drive (taking advantage of the lower temperatures).  Here are some pictures of the grounds:
DSCF4920The pool (obviously). DSCF4921 DSCF4926 DSCF4928 So much land to walk and play on.  The grass was horrible though, really coarse and hard to walk on – didn't seem to bother the baby though.DSCF4937The baby walking up to the gate. DSCF4942   Another perspective.
So, most of the time we were at the Villa, and I must admit I did get a little stir crazy.  I was really excited we we decided to go to the port for the day.  Since “D” was off on the weekends, we went out and had lunch and walked around the port.  The parents took the baby with them and I got to walk around for a bit on my own (trying not to die of heat stroke!).  It was really nice to get out and to see the sights.  Here are some pictures from the port:
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One day the mum and I took the baby to the beach.  It was a drive straight up a mountain and down the other side to get to a beautiful beach.  It was so nice.  She played with the baby in the water and I sat on the beach (in the shade).  We left before it got too hot or too busy. 
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On the ride home from the beach, we stopped at a look out point and this is what I saw:
DSCF4962 DSCF4964 DSCF4965Stunning…. just stunning.
One night the mum and I decided, after dinner, to go shopping in the town.  It was so nice to go out, just us girls, and shop, talk, and just experience the town.
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After the first few days, the rest of them just flew by.  After I put the baby to sleep – The parents and I would have amazing food.  The chef was so professional and even the dad said that it was the best food he’s ever had – and that is saying something because he’s traveled the world.  I tried things like: steak, caviar, quails eggs, hummus, white chocolate and asparagus soup, prosciutto, and so many others.  It was the best (poshist – is that a word?!?!?) food I am sure I will ever taste.  We had great conversations at dinner and I really got to like the parents as friends as well as really good employers. 
It was finally time to go home.  We stopped at the aquarium and I was mostly interested in the jellyfish (I have TONS of pictures of that). 
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We got to the airport and just relaxed until we got the plane.  It was super hot (STILL) and when we got on the plane they had the air on so strong that this is what we were greeted with:
DSCF4994It looked like smoke – a sight like that is bound to make anyone a bit nervous.  It turns out the flight was fine, just 2 1/2 hours.  At immigration we parted ways (they had another flight to catch and I had to stand in line FOREVER).
I got on the train home and was promptly kicked out of the first class coach (I didn't know it was First Class) and after a week of First Class treatment – real life came crashing back down.  Chris was nice and met me at the train station in London and rode back home with me.
It was such a good experience.  It could have turned out so bad, but it turned out amazing.  I hope that I am able to help them again.
If you’d like to see all the pictures (no, this isn't all of them) click on the link below:
http://cid-4efd483657adb90d.skydrive.live.com/browse.aspx/.res/4efd483657adb90d!1939?ct=photos
or visit my old Space:  http://jamieandcompany.spaces.live.com/
*Click on the pictures in the blog to get a closer look!
*No pictures of the baby due to privacy. 

NEW PICTURES

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